Ubisoft Press conference

Another conference begins, another montage, but with….fucking Rabbids. Great now these half-baked minions will start off this mediocre conference. They begin the conference really with Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle and Shigeru Miyamoto with a big ass cannon! Then he play fights with the CEO of Ubisoft in an incredibly cringy dialogue between the two, as well as the translator. Miyamoto is supposedly a big fan of the Rabbids and their “humor”. It just goes on and on, christ! They really needed to move on.

When they did the guy in the pink shirt was savage as hell in saying “Finally we get to see the game”, it got a few laughs from the audience. The gameplay demo looked almost exactly like the hub world for Mario 3-D world, that transitioned into a terrible X-Com like RPG battle. It went on for so long that people clapped after one enemy was finally killed. There were kinda cool weapons and attack variants but with a lackluster control style, it looked like a disaster. The trailer it ended with had terrible jock rock to make this silly kid RPG seem cool and ended with another flat joke with the Rabbids.

Ubisoft pulled out Assassin’s Creed Origins again with a cool trailer, I guess they showed the gameplay at Microsoft as to avoid another awkward “person explains gameplay poor- OH god damn it! They showed this really cool looking trailer and then transitioned for a short (thankfully) gameplay demo thing, promoting a 30-minute gameplay preview thing. It showed 3 people sitting on a couch with the darkest monitor known to man, what was I supposed to see other than sand and a bird?

Next up is another vroom vroom game, The Crew 2, with a semi-creepily realistic man who races all the vehicles good. The only thing of note here is that you can take control of boats, cars, planes, and helicopters almost anywhere in the game. Comes out early 2018.

NEXT UP IS THE BEST THING EVER SOUTH PARK THE FRACTURED BUTT WHOLE coming out October 17th! I just hope they stop showing it, please let all the surprises be surprises in the game!

Elijah Wood delights everyone in the trailer for this new VR horror game Transference. Wasn’t too much, and I’m very interested to see more. I guess they didn’t want to fail at showing off a VR game, just have a spooky trailer.

The much rumored Pirate game gets a badass ship combat trailer. Revealed as Skull and Bones, it basically takes the ship combat of AC 4: Black Flag, and builds around that. Although it is a little disappointing that you can’t attack after the ship is badly damaged, it’s just relegated to a cutscene. The rest of the fighting looks cool, fast and fun.

Just dance, away from this conference. Bad joke I know. Garbage techno and EDM dancers bum rush the stage to dance with Pandas and, Ninjas? Then some pop star (Bebe Rexha) sings for a solid 45 seconds then tells us that Just Dance 2018 will be released.

Then south park comes back for a mobile RPG, based on the kids game “Cowboys and Indians” called South Park: Phone Destroyer. A little lackluster but fun nonetheless

This New IP Starlink looks like a cute kids game, but they treated it with such sincerity that it felt a bit laughable. Toys you attach to your Nintendo switch? Seems like it could be as popular as Skylanders or as mediocre attempts at the genre. (RIP Disney Infinity)

I really hoped, just from the name, “Steep” with its snowy design would be a cool dystopian game, but it’s just a ski game. A fun SSX type ski game. Nothing more, or less.

FarCry 5 looks really cool. Another fun FarCry game but this time with a kick ass shooting cultists edge (similar to Mafia III), that will get me back into the franchise. Coming out on February 27th of next year.

As the finale for the conference we get a Beyond Good and Evil 2 CG trailer, I wasn’t hopeful, that’s the shit they pulled nearly ten years ago. Then the creative leads on the game talked about what the game will be while concept art scrolled in the background, I wasn’t hopeful. Then they showed what seemed like gameplay footage of a guy flying around I got super excited! But it was soured when they talked about a program where the fans would help make it. Clearly, it’s barely in development and/or Ubisoft doesn’t believe in it. It landed flat just like the beginning of this conference, and it felt like a cruel joke. People really want this game, why toy around with us?

Another Bad Ubisoft conference, but it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. Where is Aisha Tyler By the Way?? It felt more like it could’ve been more by being less, less annoying, less dialogue, less talking that isn’t in trailers. I ended up feeling more disappointed that what I should have been based on the announcements. Hopefully, it will improve next year.


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